Words never used to describe Black women:
- Dainty
- Delicate
- Elegant
- Poised
- Fragile
- Genteel
- Graceful
Lets add those to our vocabulary on a regular basis, shall we?
I may be the only one but this post makes me really angry. I’m black, and in my life I’ve never met or seen a black woman I’d describe as most of these words. Black women are strong and powerful, not only physically but also personality wise. I mean, considering all the bullshit black women have gone through (yknow slavery and all that) and continue to go through, we simply are not “dainty” or “delicate” We’re tough, we’ve got thick skin. The reason most of these words aren’t used to describe black women is because it isn’t true, and I don’t think at least some of us want it to be. In this society, I don’t think we’d want to be described as anything that could be associated with “weak.” Anything that could have us sexualized like Asian women sadly are because they’re “dainty” and “delicate.” We’ve got to show this world that we are not to be fucked with, that we will not simply be stepped on and just accept it. Black women are fighters, no matter how physically small or quiet they may be. Of course, there are a fewexceptions on this list: elegant, graceful, poised, genteel. But fragile? Absolutely not. We are not breakable. We don’t want you go think that we are. A woman, including black women, can still be beautiful and feminine without being described with words that are associated with weak, and small. Femininity shouldn’t be associated with being fragile and delicate, I mean, isn’t that exactly what men want? I know black women shouldn’t have to be tough and strong all the time but, sadly, we kind of have to be in this society. I understand that op is black and some black women may and probably so agree with this, but I, respectfully, disagree. If you reblog this from me feel free to delete my ranting.*sigh*
You can go ahead and keep the ‘don’t fuck with black women’ mentality. I reject that wholeheartedly. I reject the notion of ‘strength’ because it has done absolutely NOTHING for us as a group except show people that we can endure the abuse and thus we should not be treated with care.
Also, exactly how is ‘genteel’ a word associated with ‘weak and small’
How is ‘dainty?’
How is ‘poised?’
None of those are synonyms, and even if they WERE, it’s 1000% okay for Black women to be so because I reject strength as the sole defining marker for us.
Poised and genteel were listed under what I thought were exceptions. Part of the definition of dainty is “delicately small.” I completely see where you’re coming from and respect what you’re saying, I just don’t agree with you. I never said it wasn’t okay for a black woman to be any of those words, but in my life time (admittedly short and pretty limited) I’ve never met any other black woman that I’d use some of those words to describe (elegant, poised, graceful, and genteel excluded) and I definetely wouldn’t use them to describe myself. All women are capable of being fragile just like all women are capable of being strong and powerful, I think it more depends in the situation. I wasn’t trying to start any sort of argument with anyone or change anyone’s opinion or shit on your post or anything, I was simply sharing my opinion on a post for my blog.
And you couldn’t have made a separate post instead of shitting on my op?
How does @hurlyquinn miss the point so deeply? I would bet money you have met black women who, if their skin were lighter, would be considered to be delicate/soft. But because they’re black (& the darker the skin, the truer it is), they are not considered so…or even allowed to be.
There’s a reason why you haven’t ascribed those words/this ideal to black women. Because the narrative that has been beat into us, into society, into the very fabric of history is that black women are mules.
We are “strong” & “powerful”, just like the kind of creature you’d want towing your load. We have been told ever since they started kidnapping black folks for slavery that the stated purpose of black people, but black women in particular, is to be used. Use for labour, used to raise kids, used for sex, used for procreation, used for support/care/coddling. None of which is then (according to the narrative) necessary to reciprocate.
The “strong, independent black woman” isn’t inherently bad on its face if that’s who a person is…but it’s the prevailing stamp slapped on all of us from birth & we are not allowed to be anything other. It needs rejecting because it literally harms black women. Our issues are ignored because we’re “strong”. Our mental & physical health is quite often ignored because we’re “strong”. Our needs are ignored because we’re “strong” & are supposed to go handle it ourselves without help but still be available to others. Crimes against us are seen as less because we’re “strong”, “imposing” & probably “deserved it”. We’re tools.
We’re the sassy black friend/the mammy/the exotic other when we’re needed to fulfill others’ needs. We’re beasts/whores/bossy/etc. when we’re no longer needed or we don’t acquiese to the roles set before us.
Rejecting the idea of “fragility” is a purely white thing. Fragility being made synonmous with dainty & other feminine descriptors meaning “weak”, is a part of feminism for white women. It is absolutely a revolutionary thought that a black woman can be delicate/fragile/tiny/feminine…because we are not afforded womanhood, we’re barely afforded personhood. Still, even now in 2015.
The thing is, not every black woman is the same, & you should see that whenever an oppressed group is lumped into a monolith it is always for the purpose of their oppression. Pay close attention to how people talk about black women. Especially when they want to put us aside for the benefit of someone else.
